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A man goes to the doctors. The doc checks him over, and says "sorry mate, but you have yellow 24, a nasty virus, so called as it turns your blood yellow and you only have 24 hours to live. There's nothing I can do for you - just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth." So he trudges home to wifey, and breaks the news. Distraught, she asks him to accompany her to bingo that evening so he can experience her idea of a night out, as he's never been there before. He gets his 1st card, and wins 4 corners – prize £350, and then gets any line and wins £3200. He also calls for a full house - and wins a grand. The national grid comes up and he wins a further £380,000. The bingo Caller gets him on stage, and says "Son - I've never seen you in here in all my life, but you won 4 corners, any line, full house and the national grid - I've never met anyone so lucky." "Lucky??" he screamed, "lucky? I'll have you know I've got yellow 24." "f*** me," says the bingo caller, "You've won the raffle as well"! --------------------------------------------------------------- A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own f.......g blanket."
